SEX: Sleep and Exercise | Sex, Soup, and 2 Fisted Eating

Children are the best exercise motivators in existence because they trick you. If you don’t believe me, go for a simple walk with a few small children. They enthusiastically skip and talk and explore the first quarter mile and you think, “Yes, this is nice! My body feels good!” They wait until you’re at the furthest geographical point from the house to fall apart and then you get a surprisingly good workout carrying, dragging, or threatening them all home.

A friend of mine from church – let’s call her Lean Jean – is the most creative gym teacher I’ve ever met, so I asked her for some exercise ideas. She suggests riding bikes around the neighborhood or jogging together. I’m not a jogger, but jogging with my kids might work; I mean, how fast can they go, right? I hope I have enough pride to pump my legs faster when my three year old passes me! In our family we make the kids earn their ice cream or popsicles by riding bikes around the one mile loop of our neighborhood. (Bribery you say? Yes, yes it is.)

Her next suggestion is Mailbox Races. Start at your mailbox and race to the neighbor’s mailbox, then back to yours. Let the kids choose a different movement each time: hopping, skipping, ski jumps, walking backwards, sashaying sideways, galloping. “The kids love to pick silly movements. Keep it fun.” She makes the point that you’re in front of your house the whole time, so if one kid needs a break or a bathroom, they can take a rest on the lawn. And when Mommy lies gasping on the grass, the kids can fetch her water from the house.

I was put to the test yesterday evening. My children drew a big wobbly race track on our driveway and wanted to run races. SIGH. The very thought of running made my legs and arms turn to lead. But this week’s blog was echoing in my head and I thought, “Am I going to talk the talk only or am I going to Nike it up and Just Do It?” The races were fun once I started! I felt a little silly, but what are the neighbors going to do, move away? Not in this market!

Some other great ideas she had are to make an obstacle course or to crank up the music and dance. Ever dance like a toddler? It’s all jumping and wiggles and kicks and some pretty cool hand motions. Lots of fun, but suddenly all of the songs feel so loooooooong! Let the kids lead the dancing and copy their moves; you’re guaranteed not to be stuck doing the awkward head bop I pull out at every wedding.

No “good” time for crunches or weights? Do 15 pushups leaning on your vanity before your shower, says Lean Jean, and do lunges when you’re on the phone. “Just remember that if it’s not fun, you won’t want to keep doing it. Change it up, interject it in small doses throughout your day.”

If you don’t have children readily available or you don’t feel comfortable borrowing some, I recommend you try a KISS walk, Keep It Simple Stupid. Throw on some sneakers and go. No special outfit, no gear, no reason to wait. Ten minutes here, twenty minutes there; it all adds up. How does it add up? Let us count the ways!

Walking briskly for 10 minutes: 45 calories

Dancing for 10 minutes: 90 calories

Jogging (12 minute mile) for 10 minutes: 100 calories

Push ups for 10 minutes: 40 calories

Bike riding for 10 minutes: 95

House cleaning for 10 minutes: 30 calories

Carrying, dragging, or threatening children for 10 minutes: 50 calories

“The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
though they cannot compare
with the wings and feathers of the stork.” Job 39:13

We may not look graceful or athletic when we exercise, but we can move our bodies with joy!

I’d known for years that I needed to lose weight. I postponed the inevitable by having four babies in six years. (Can’t lose weight when you’re pregnant, right?) I did my research, I came up with a simple plan, and then I thought, “Nuts, now I have to do it!” I was petrified of two things: 1. Not being able to lose weight. 2. Losing weight and then gaining it all back. But the only alternative was to stay overweight and that future scared me more.

One year later and thirty pounds lighter, I’m ready to share my plan and encourage anyone out there who’s on a similar journey. I’m still on the journey, by the way; I have about twenty pounds to go to reach my goal.

The plan is simple. Every week for three weeks, we focus on one aspect of weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. On the fourth week we put it all together. Then we repeat the pattern every four weeks, building on the changes we’ve made and making them permanent elements of our new lifestyle.

Start with Sex

Two key elements of a healthy lifestyle are united in sex: sleep and exercise. Sex is exercise and it induces sleep. No matter which diet route you choose, if you don’t get enough sleep and you don’t get your butt off the sofa, research shows that your body is going to fight you every step of the way.

Maybe you don’t have the will power to turn off the TV and get yourself into bed at a decent hour. But you have at your disposal one of the most powerful forces in nature: your husband’s desire for intimacy. Here’s how you tap into that power. Pick a night (or several nights) of the week and say this: “Husband, I want you to seduce me at nine o’clock tonight. I will say yes. I need to be asleep by ten.” Your husband will remember. He might be incredulous (after all, it sounds too good to be true) but he will remember. Nine o’clock comes around and badda-bing, badda-boom – a good night’s sleep!

Research shows that people who get a full night’s sleep lose more body fat on a diet than those who don’t. Science has also confirmed that when we’re tired, we eat more. (Google “weight loss and sleep” and you’ll see what I mean.) If you want the hormonal explanation, check out Dr. Oz’s website; he explains the connection between REM sleep, hormones, and weight loss.

Better yet, do your own research. Ready? Get eight hours of sleep two nights in a row. Does a salad sound appetizing? Do you have the energy to make one? Good. Okay, now get six hours of sleep two nights in a row. What are the chances you’ll exercise today? Are fat and sugar your new best friends? Bingo.

Psalm 127:2 says that God “grants sleep to those he loves”. Sleep is a blessing! A gift! Not a necessary evil.

On to exercise!

Exercise burns calories and builds muscle, which burns more calories. It keeps your heart and lungs healthy, releases endorphins, yadda yadda yadda. It also makes you feel better wearing a bathing suit even if you’re not up to Kate Upton standards yet! Ask anyone who has lost weight what they did to be successful and 9 out of 10 will say, “Exercise more and eat less!” (More on eating next week – one thing at a time!)

How do you exercise more? With concerted effort.

My favorite exercise is swimming laps. It combines cardio and muscle toning in one workout and you’re wet, which means you don’t have to figure out how to look cool using dumbbells and you don’t feel sweaty. The real breakthrough came when I started swimming with a friend. We show up because we want to talk, but we make ourselves do laps first. I’m motivated to go because I want to hang out with my friend, so I go more often. I used to walk on a treadmill while reading a book because I love reading. (In fact, I avoided the pool for a long time because you can’t read in the water.) It was a pain to get the kids out the door and to the YMCA, but I got to read uninterrupted for an hour – totally worth it! The point is, if you make it fun, you’ll do it more often.

If, for you, the word “workout” is akin to “pap smear”, then start small. Go for a walk after dinner. When you’re on the phone with a girl friend, pace the room and do squats like a nut. You know that pile of things at the bottom of the stairs that needs to go up? Take them up; all of them, one at a time, up and down, up and down. Challenge your kids to a race. You may be ready to quit after one lap around the yard, but they’ll ask for more and enjoy beating you as you move slower and slower and finally bribe them back into the house with a treat. The type of exercise doesn’t matter at this point in the journey: if you’re moving your body, it counts.

Isaiah 40:29 says that God “gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak”. Ask God to help you do what you know you need to do.

So, get eight hours of sleep at least two nights this week and move ten minutes extra each day. Have faith – the things you do TODAY are affecting your weight and your body, even if you can’t see it yet.