Katie: Bladder, stop crying, please, it’s not your…Welcome back! We’re here with Bladder who’s going to pull herself together.
Bladder: I…I…*sniff*
Katie: Bladder, this interview has taken twice as long as planned because you’ve needed to empty yourself every thirty minutes. Please, please, take a deep breath and talk to me so we can finish this show and go home.
Bladder: *sniff* I’ll try.
Katie: Thank you. You have something you want to tell the rest of Body, correct? What is it you wanted to say?
Bladder: I know I can be annoying because I have to empty so often. *sniff* But do you know what would happen if I didn’t? The glucose would stay in the blood, the blood vessels will stay tense until they harden, the Eyes won’t be able to focus –
Katie: Yes, we, uh, we covered this in between bathroom breaks.
Bladder: I worry, Katie. *sniff* I worry what will happen to all of us. Life is short. Life is fragile. If our health declines, I don’t know where this Body is headed. What if Kidneys get too tired? What if Brain stops responding to their thirst signals and drinks less water because I fill so often?
Katie: Let’s talk about water, Bladder. A study linked chronic dehydration to chronic hyperglycemia. Have you found that to be true?
Bladder: Hyper what?
Katie: Hyperglycemia; chronic high blood glucose levels. Less water equals less blood equals high concentrations of glucose in the blood. If you don’t drink enough water every day for a long time, the higher glucose levels can lead to type two diabetes.
Bladder: *sniff* It’s the end of life as we know it. *sniff*
Katie: Bladder, don’t cry. There, there, weren’t you listening? It’s not too late to change. Muscle is going to walk, Brain is going to sleep more and to stop eating before Stomach signals she’s full so we can lose some weight. Kidneys and Pancreas are determined to keep the blood glucose levels down. We need you, Bladder. Let’s bring in the team and I want you to tell them why water is so important.
Bladder: *sniff* Okay. What if I can’t—
Katie: You’ll be fine. Ladies! Can you come in here, please? Everyone, welcome back. Okay, Bladder, go ahead.
Bladder: Well. *sniff* Now that we’re diabetic, we’ll need lots of water to clean out the glucose.
Kidney 2: Hear hear!
Bladder: Brain, as you start choosing more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, we’ll need even more water.
Brain: What on Earth for?
Bladder: Plant based foods are full of fiber and fiber absorbs water. We’ll need extra water to keep the fiber moving.
Brain: Great, we’re eating sponges now.
Muscle: If we run low on water, I might cramp!
Brain: And I’ll get a headache. Suck it up.
Kidney 1: Brain, it’s easy to see if we’re getting dehydrated.
Brain: Dehydrated? We’re talking a little thirsty, here, right? Not that big of a deal.
Kidney 1: Mild dehydration, especially if it becomes chronic, can exacerbate our symptoms. According to our calculations-
Brain: Fine, fine. What do I do?
Bladder: Well, you can work with me. Whenever I empty, look at my urine.
Brain: Ew, gross. Eyes aren’t going to like this.
Bladder: If it’s clear, we’re okay. If it’s yellow, we need to drink more.
Pancreas: You can do a pinch test too. Pinch the skin on the back of Hand. If it bounces back quickly, we’re okay. If it stays pinched or the skin goes down slowly, we’re mildly dehydrated.
Brain: Geez, I need a cup of coffee.
Bladder: No coffee! It’s going to make me fill more!
Kidney 1: Just a little. Coffee’s actually good for us. It has magnesium and chromium which helps us use insulin. And it counts like water for hydration.
Bladder: Okay, fine.
Brain: Excellent! Come on, gals. Let’s get some coffee. Muscle, you can walk us there.
Katie: This concludes our show. Thanks for joining us and thank you to all of our guests.
Brain: Let’s add food to this plan. Stomach just signaled she’s empty. Katie, care to join us?
Katie: I’d love to.
Kidney 1: We need Liver to help suck up the extra glucose from the blood. Let her go.
Katie: Isn’t diabetes—in its essence—a lack of insulin? And as the pancreas, isn’t it your job to make insulin?
Pancreas: You know what glucose is?
Pancreas: That’s right. Without insulin, the cell doors stay locked tight and glucose stays in the blood.
Katie: What do you want our audience to know, Pancreas? Set the record straight for us.
Sex, Soup, and 2 Fisted Eating 