weight loss and sleep | Sex, Soup, and 2 Fisted Eating

There was in interesting article on Fox News.com last week called “What Nutritionists Eat When They Want to Slim Down”. There are three important takeaways I’d like to pull from this article and the first one comes from the title.

Even experts get off track. The title itself implies that nutritionists aren’t 100% slim 100% of the time. Gasp! You mean that even people who spend years studying food and the human body and KNOW what they should and should not eat – even they get off track sometimes? They’re…they’re human? Gasp again! So if I get off track every once in a while, I’m human too? And I should stop beating myself up and start fresh today doing what I need to do to be on track again? How many rhetorical questions can a blogger type in a row before everyone groans? Two? Really? Okay, I’ll stop. Sorry about that.

More vegetables and protein. Almost every nutritionist said that they increase their intake of plants and proteins and limit carbs and sugar. More good stuff, less bad stuff. One lady said she puts a little cheese on her steamed vegetables. That’s what I’m talking about! They eat real food – good for you real food – but limit the portion sizes.

They agree with me! It’s like the nutritionists have been reading my blog. The two tips they gave that didn’t boil down to “more veggies and protein” were to eat soup (because it’s full of vegetables, water, and fills you up with fewer calories) and to get more sleep. Ta da! Sex, Soup, and Two Fisted Eating! I feel like an expert now. “10 out of 10 random nutritionists from some random article agree that Katie knows what she’s talking about.”

If you’re off track, listen to the experts: take a walk, go to bed early, and eat a spinach omelet for breakfast. If you’re not off track, you should take a walk, go to bed early, and eat a spinach omelet for breakfast. It’s a plan we can all love!

With the busyness of the school year upon me, I find myself needing to get back to the basics, and I’m starting with the S in Sex: sleep.

Research shows that people who consistently get a full night’s sleep lose more body fat on a diet than those who don’t. (Fat is what I want to lose! Not my hard-earned muscle.) Science has also confirmed that when we’re tired, we not only eat more, but we crave high calorie foods. We all know the equation Tired = Want Sugar² to be true, but it’s nice when scientists agree with us. The emotional food craving part of our brain actually takes charge and the logical decision making part of our brain takes a back seat.

If you don’t trust the experts, do your own research. Ready? Get eight hours of sleep two nights in a row. Does a salad sound appetizing? Do you have the energy to make one? Good. Okay, now get six hours of sleep two nights in a row. What are the chances you’ll exercise today? Are fat and sugar your new best friends? Bingo.

So how do we get more sleep? For many of us, we simply haven’t made sleep a priority. Have you ever noticed how early you go to bed when the power is out or you’re camping? (i.e. When it’s dark, you’re bored.) Screens, be they television, ivision, or webvision, have a way of making us feel more awake than we are or should be. If you turn them off, you will increase your chances of going to bed on time by 200%. That was a scientific study done by yours truly. I aced 9^th grade Biology, so you know my results are accurate.

The more I research the affects of sleep on the body, the more convinced I’m becoming that few things are more important for your health. Now, some of you reading this work the night shift, or have newborns, or other situations in life that interrupt your sleep and are beyond your control. I know you’re sleeping the best you can and you have my sympathy and a pillow if you ever stop by to visit. I’m talking to myself and all of the other idiots out there who don’t know how lucky we are that if we choose to, we can be well rested.

Ladies, maybe you don’t have the will power to turn off the TV and get yourself into bed at a decent hour. But you have at your disposal one of the most powerful forces in nature: your husband’s desire for intimacy. Here’s how you tap into that power. Pick a night (or several nights) of the week and say this: “Husband, I want you to seduce me at nine o’clock tonight. I will say yes. I need to be asleep by ten.” Your husband will remember. He might be incredulous (after all, it sounds too good to be true) but he will remember. Nine o’clock rolls around and badda-bing, badda-boom – a good night’s sleep! (And exercise to boot! What a deal!)